Address books

are also historical records of a sort.

Ours needs updating - rather urgently. It was one of those tasks the Senior Cat started two years ago. He never finished it. Although he did not admit it to me I know he found the task too depressing. There were too many old friends who had "gone", businesses which were "no longer there" and places he would never go to again.

My mother kept the Christmas card list separately from the general list. There were people on that she only corresponded with at Christmas. She was of the generation where people did send one another cards. Her friends sent her cards too - often with lengthy, handwritten letters inside.

I have, over breakfast, just been through the address book. There are scratching outs all over the place. I crossed some more names off the list. I put question marks next to others - not only because they are no longer with us but because they have "downsized" or "moved into aged care". Yes, it is that sort of address book.

I send Christmas cards only to people I won't see - friends who live in other parts of the world and a few who live interstate. I made a list of those to whom I need/want to send cards. It is getting shorter. I was reminded yet again of my paternal grandfather's sad remark that he had "lived too long" because "all his friends had gone before (him)". The Senior Cat is feeling the same way. He is losing touch with the world outside the walls of the residence.

Part way through the list of addresses I saw the name of someone I only ever corresponded with at Christmas. She always sent page after handwritten page to me. We had only ever met a few times. Our first meeting was an accidental one in a second-hand bookshop in another state. I was looking for a book and she heard me asking about it. The shop did not have a copy but she had one and offered to loan it to me - a complete stranger. She was that sort of person. 

Last Christmas she sent me her usual long letter but the handwriting was not quite as firm as usual. In the letter she admitted she was not well. After checking she was still alive I sent her an extra letter in August this year but did not receive a response. This morning I reluctantly checked the death notices - and there was the notice from three weeks ago. I don't know any of her family. I never met them although I heard about them in her letters.

And I also heard about her "boys". She was the Matron in a boarding school for boys.  The death notice mentioned there would be a "memorial" service later. I hope they found a church big enough to hold all the "boys" who wanted to attend.

And I reluctantly crossed her name off in the book.